"And Then We Got a Three Year Old”
Coping With The Challenge of Raising Your Grandchild

“I was just getting ready to go buy that boat I’d been waiting most of my life for, then we got a three year old. Guess it will wait until my next life time.” This is a common theme when talking to grandparents now raising their grandchildren. Life plans and dreams changed with little or no warning. In December of 2007, it was estimated that grandparents or other relatives were raising over six million children in the United States. This represented a thirty percent increase since 1990. 98,836 of those six million children were living in Maryland. Although the numbers seem startling, this trend is nothing new. It has been going on since the beginning of human kind. The biggest difference is that people are more open about it now. This has led to the availability of many more resources and much more support to grandparents and kinship care providers.
No one plans on taking responsibility for a child once they’ve finished raising their own. There is no overwhelming urge to start a family anew. The journey is one of necessity. The child needs love, stability, and a safe environment. Grandparents are often the most logical and only sound choice to fulfill those needs. However, the journey, although it can be rewarding, is frequently difficult in many ways.

Mommies and Daddies in Jail

We were out walking. A police car stopped and looked at my Daddy. Soon there were lots of police cars and flashing lights. I was scared. I wondered what was happening.
If you are the parent caregiver for a child or children whose mom is incarcerated, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
During the holiday season, you and your child may be struggling with many issues. You may be juggling work and home responsibilities and feel as if you are on an emotional roller coaster. The holidays are a time for thinking about others and reaching out to your loved ones. Here are some action steps that may be helpful for you and your child now and, of course, throughout the year.

1. Be honest with your child about the parent who is incarcerated.
2. Allow your child to express his or her own fears and anger.
3. Consider allowing your child to phone, write letters and cards or visit the incarcerated parent.
4. Seek support from your local agencies, faith-based organizations, and school personnel that can help you and help your child through these difficult and often overwhelming times.

Despite the painful struggle that comes with this situation, you and your child CAN be in control, CAN be empowered, and CAN create a good life. Learn more each month. By Judi L. Goozh and Sue Jeweler

While walking through one of my favorite discount stores the other day, I happened upon a scene that gave me hope for America’s future. It was change I could believe in, for sure.
As her four children hopped around her, begging her in their most pitiful voices to buy them something, a mother stood, impassive, obviously immune to their retail angst, chanting, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no….”
As I walked by, smiling at her, it struck me that the economy, bad as it is, could have beneficial effects on parenting. After all, I haven’t witnessed a scene of that sort in quite some time, and I’ve seen two in the last two weeks, in two different cities, widely separated. Something is happening.

Living with Children
John Rosemond
Copyright 2009, John K. Rosemond

The Importance of Relationships

Relationships strained with family and friends? Want a better sex life? Then these two amazing experts are the answer for you in 2010. We proudly welcome Dr. Pepper Schwartz Ph.D and Dr. Maureen Vernon Ph.D as experts in the field of relationships, families and sex.
Click on the “heart” icon to read fascinating articles you just won’t want to miss starting in January.

As I continue this column, I welcome questions that may assist all single parents and caregivers. I will strive to provide the best possible information for the care of your child.
About Fran R. Cogen, MD, CDE. Dr. Cogen is the director of the Childhood and Adolescent Diabetes Program at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, DC, and was named as one of the Best Doctors in America. She has served on the American Diabetes Association National Diabetes Education Recognition Committee and is currently the Physician Representative of The National Certification Board for Diabetes.

I’m the poster-child for someone who should not drive without a Global Positioning System or GPS. A GPS is one of the greatest inventions of all time! Before GPS became a household name, I drove through life like I was in one of my 11 year old son’s video games: fumbling with maps, frantically searching for signs, desperately avoiding hazards, almost always going in the wrong direction, and mostly screaming and crying. It was not a pretty sight.
With the current state of the economy, many people feel like they’re hurling through the same type of video “game.” During my 27 years of guiding people in money matters, I’ve acted as my clients’ “Fiscal GPS”.
This is my first in a series of articles for iSingleParent in which I will navigate the subject of Women, Their Money, and Installing a Fiscal GPS.
Jacalyn Murray, CRPC® Vice President, Investment Consultant
SunTrust Investment Services, Inc.